


Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

by Girl Wonder (sophialoving)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Cousins, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6132794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophialoving/pseuds/Girl%20Wonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, you need to build your own family to carry you through the storms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nobody Wants To Be Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my wonderful muses, Will & Mary. Thank you for creating such wonderful characters and allowing me to create my own stories with them. Feel free to throw backstory or anything else at me on Twitter (@xo_girlwonder) so I can write your characters more accurately.
> 
> Special shoutout to Kit, who played Lillith on the show for an episode (I wish she had more!) - I'm so thrilled that you allowed me to use your character as well and that you put up with my questions. I appreciate your help in bringing Lillith to life. I hope I do your character justice.

“Where do you think you're going?”

The combination of irritation and hurt in her voice Kashaw stop dead in his tracks. He didn't dare turn around to face her. “I'm leaving,” he replied, his tone completely neutral.

“Look at me, Kashaw,” Zahra demanded, anger flashing in her eyes as she yanked on his arm, using force to attempt to turn him to face her. When he pulled his arm away, she stepped in front of him, reached for his face and forced him to face her. She repeated forcefully, “LOOK AT ME!”

“I...”

“No, Kashaw, I won't have any of your excuses,” she shot back, her tone accusatory, as she released his face, “You're running away, you coward.”

Kashaw was shaking violently, resenting Zahra's words. “I'm leaving to **protect you** ,” he spat out, “You're the closest thing to family I have and I don't want anything to happen to you.”

“I am more than capable of handling myself,” Zahra pointed out irritatedly, “You know, friends stick by each other. You're making it pretty damn difficult for me to do that.”

“That's because I don't **want** you to,” Kashaw's eyes were overtaken with sadness as he added, “It was decided a long time ago that I was the sacrificial lamb. My life isn't mine, it never was, and it's not worth investing in friendships when all I bring to the table is trouble with an evil goddess.”

Zahra's expression softened as she processed Kashaw's words. “Oh darlin', you know you bring more to the table than that,” she said quietly in response.

“Oh, I bring healing,” he quipped with a bitter tone, “That's all good and great, but that's not enough for me. I'm still a magnet for trouble. For all the lives I've tried to save, I've seen people die because of me.”

“You're a competent fighter and a gifted healer, you're loyal and strong,” Zahra told him, her voice brimming with emotion, “You're worth **everything** to me, and I would be willing to fight with you, **for** you any day. That's a choice I'd make for you because I **want** to. You can't take that away from me. I **won't** let you take that away from me.”

Kashaw considered her words carefully. “Would you really be willing to die for me?” he asked quietly.

“For a chance to free you from this evil goddess?” Zahra answered, full of passion and conviction, “Yes. I would be willing to die for you if it meant setting you free and giving you the life that was taken from you.”

“Z...” Kashaw was used to being on his own and Zahra's declaration left him at a loss for words.

Zahra continued on, tears building up in her eyes, “Because of you, I understand what it means to have someone to care about, someone to love. I need that. I need **you**. If you leave me, I'll be lost again. I don't want to go back to being that selfish tiefling with no direction. I'm better with you. You have to believe that.”

Kashaw nodded. Zahra had been the first person he had met that seemed to need him as much as he needed her, and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. Zahra's insistence that she didn't need to be protected was certainly a convincing argument she made to keep her around. Still, the gut instinct to push her away was strong. She of all people didn't deserve to take on his problems.

“I **need** you and I'm ready to fight for you, if you would let me. I would follow you anywhere, you know that.”

In all their weeks of friendship and the hunts they had gone on together, Zahra had never been that candid with him and it took a moment for him to process her words. “Okay, I'll stay,” he finally conceded with a sigh.

“I've grown rather fond of you, you know?” she went on with a soft, gentle smile, “I miss having someone around since Lillith started having to stay one step ahead of her sisters.”

Kashaw raised an eyebrow but didn't press Zahra for details. Instead, he suggested, “Why don't you try to get her to join the Slayer's Take? We can take her out for her trial and everything.”

Zahra shrugged. “I don't know if I can get her to stay put long enough for that. She's...occupied with those family issues.”

“It seems we all need a support group, and I think it would be good to have her around.” Kashaw wasn't entirely sold on staying but he knew Zahra wouldn't let him leave so he tried to be open to the idea of sticking around with a group. “Your family is my family now,” he added with a slight smile.

Zahra nodded. “I met up with her in Emon after my trial,” she replied, “She said she wasn't sure where she was headed next and I suggested she hide out in Vasselheim. We'll see if she takes me up on the offer.”

Kashaw nodded in understanding.

“I'm glad you're sticking it out with me, Kash,” Zahra told him with a slight smile of her own.

Kashaw nodded again, his expression unreadable. He wasn't about to admit it, but he was glad she asked him to stay. As terrified as he was that Vesh would go after Zahra the way she had gone after everyone else he cared about, a part of him no longer wanted to be alone. He still felt like he should walk away, but the part of him that no longer wanted to be alone convinced him to stay where he was needed.

“ **Please** don't do anything stupid,” she added, giving him a stern look.

Nodding wordlessly, Kashaw turned himself around and headed back towards the room he had been using in the Guild Hall. He had a strong feeling that Zahra would be keeping a closer eye on him over the coming days; strangely enough, it didn't bother him having someone actively looking out for him the way she did. She wasn't normally as emotional as she was in trying to convince him to stay and that was the way he preferred things. He would stay if it meant there were no more emotional outbursts on either one of their parts.

* * *

Zahra stormed back into her room, slamming the door behind her. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was someone who was so easily willing to abandon ship. She never understood how it easy it was for her father to walk away, and Kashaw's own attempt to walk out of her life left her feeling sore. She also wasn't the best at dealing with her feelings so laying them out in the open for someone, even Kashaw, didn't sit well with her. She hoped that it would be the last time either one of them would have an emotional outburst in the foreseeable future. Before she could settle herself down, there was a knock on her door.

“Zahra?” a soft, familiar voice called out to her, “Are you in there?”

It took her one quick moment to process the voice before she swung the door open and pulled its source into as big a hug as she could muster, her tail swinging back and forth behind her. “Lillith!” she exclaimed joyfully, an unusual sort of behaviour for the otherwise calm and even-tempered tiefling.

The younger, paler tiefling managed to return her older cousin's smile. “Hello!” she greeted Zahra as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, “I'm so glad you're still here. I've been thinking of taking you up on your offer of joining the Slayer's Take.”

“Of course I'm here; I've made Vasselheim my home away from home,” Zahra explained as she led Lillith to the empty bed next to hers, “It's the reason I suggested you hide here for a while. You need someone on your side; you don't need to fight your sisters off on your own.”

“Come on! I've done a pretty decent job so far on my own!“ Lillith sat on the bed and looked across at Zahra on hers, adding, “I've managed to make some pretty decent friends in Emon after you came and saw me.”

Zahra raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

With a nod, Lillith launched into the story of her encounter with Vox Machina during the Briarwoods' visit to Emon, and how they helped her fight The Broker.

“I'm glad you met up with them, they're a nice group and I knew they'd look out for you,” Zahra told Lillith casually, “I had the opportunity to work with some of them when I first joined the Slayer's Take, including that Percy fellow you mentioned.”

Lillith's eyes lit up with interest at Zahra's last statement. “How well do you know Percival?”

“I've had the pleasure of making his acquaintance. He is a rather handsome young man, Lillith,” Zahra teased, “I didn't realize you had a taste for humans.”

“Shut up,” Lillith mumbled, a subtle blush creeping through her cheeks.

Zahra smirked with a sense of accomplishment at making Lillith blush. “In any case, I'm going to talk to the Huntmaster to see if she'll let you stay here before your trial.”

“I'll be staying at the Bellow's Respite until I complete my trial,” Lillith told her, “Don't worry about me. I just wanted to see you before I got settled in.”

“I'm so thrilled you're here, darlin'!” Zahra told Lillith with a deep affection her voice, “I've been wanting to spend more time with you.”

“Me too, Zahra,” Lillith admitted, “It gets a little lonely out there.”

There was another knock on Zahra's door. “Z, you in there? Can we talk?”

“Who's that?” Lillith whispered, doing some teasing of her own, “I didn't realize you were into booty calls!”

Zahra exhaled sharply, her expression turning mildly sour at the sound of Kashaw's voice. “Now's not the time, Kashaw!” she called back towards the door, staying put on her bed.

Curiosity getting the best of her, Lillith jumped off the bed and went to open the door. “Hello! I'm Lillith,” she said, “Kashaw, is it? Please forgive my cousin. She failed to mention anything about you.”

Not expecting the door to open, Kashaw looked at the lighter skinned tiefling in front of him, a little surprised at her introduction. “Lillith, Zahra's mentioned lots of nice things about you. It's nice to finally meet you,” he replied when he recovered.

Zahra reluctantly walked over to the door and looked over Lillith's shoulder at Kashaw. “We'll talk over breakfast in the morning,” she said pointedly, “I have company right now.”

Kashaw nodded in acknowledgement. “Have a good night, ladies. See you at breakfast, Z. Nice meeting you, Lillith.”

Lillith nodded with a smile. “I'll see you around, Kashaw.”

Reaching over Lillith's shoulder, Zahra slammed the door shut and walked back to her bed.

“Speaking of having a taste for humans...”

“Shut up, Lillith, it's not like that,” Zahra abruptly interrupted her cousin, “He's a friend.”

“A **really cute** friend,” Lillith quickly pointed out.

Zahra glared at Lillith. “No. Absolutely not. He's like a brother to me.”

“A **really cute** brother.” Lillith used the same playful tone from her previous comment, earning a roll of Zahra's eyes on top of the glare. “Not sure what to make of him yet, but he seems...nice?”

Zahra chuckled, amused at Lillith's initial assessment of Kashaw.

“You never mentioned him,” Lillith continued on, eyeing Zahra with a set of wary eyes, “What's wrong with him?”

“It's complicated,” Zahra simply stated.

It was Lillith's turn to roll her eyes. Those words were typically used to deflect questioning, and Zahra was the queen of deflection when it came to personal matters. “Seriously, what's his deal?” she pressed on.

“I'll explain later,” Zahra offered, “Right now, we gotta get you settled and I'll show you around Vasselheim, what do you say?”

Knowing better than to argue, Lillith made a mental note to continue the discussion at a later time. “Expect me to ask about him again later,” she told her older cousin, “For now, I'll drop my things off, and we can go explore the city.”

Zahra nodded with a smile, grabbing some coin before leading Lillith out of her room and out of the Guild Hall in the midst of explaining The Slayer's Take and the steps for gaining membership.

 


	2. The Start Of Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kashaw in a towel, a meeting with the Huntmaster...it's turning out to be quite the interesting morning for Lillith.

Kashaw had been in the baths of the Guild Hall that morning, enjoying a nice steam bath. Things were quiet, the way he preferred them in the morning, until he found himself in the hallway. It wasn't a very long trip to his room and he often made it in nothing but a towel with no issue but when he saw Lillith at the end of the hallway, it suddenly felt a lot longer.

Quickly averting her gaze, Lillith lowered her eyes and spoke apologetically. “Oh my goodness, I'm sorry! I didn't see anything...”

Kashaw exhaled sharply, wishing he had brought a bathrobe with him. “It's okay, Lillith,” he interrupted her, “If you're looking for Zahra, go back the way you came and take the next two rights into the next hall. That's where Z's room actually is.”

Lillith allowed herself to look up at his muscular form as she timidly said, “I must have taken a wrong turn or something. I mean, I was there just last night but the layout of this place is a little confusing.”

“You came at it from the opposite direction, I'm guessing,” Kashaw added casually as he took the last few steps towards his bedroom door, “If you want to see Zahra, I'm sure she's still in her room. She'll be thrilled you came back for breakfast.”

Lillith slowly nodded in response, struggling not to stare. “Thanks, Kashaw.”

As the light skinned tiefling rushed off to find her destination, Kashaw walked into his room to prepare for the day. He made sure to study the spells he needed and he made sure he had his notes all written out.

* * *

There was a frantic knock at Zahra's door. As soon as she swung the door open, Lillith walked into the room, a nervous ball of energy.

“Good morning to you too, Lil,” Zahra greets Lillith, “What happened to you?”

“I...he...oh...” Struggling to find her words, Lillith sat at Zahra's desk and said, “Towel. Kashaw. Uh...”

Amused at her younger counterpart's reaction, Zahra replied with a chuckle, “Oh yeah, he wanders around butt naked in nothing but a towel in the mornings since his room is in the same hall as the baths.”

Lillith turned a bright a red, unable to say a word.

“Relax, Lil, I'm sure you got an eyeful but you'll get used to it once you start living here,” Zahra continues on, maintaining her amused tone.

“So are we having breakfast before we meet with the Huntmaster?” Lillith asked, forcefully changing the subject by raising her voice slightly in both volume and pitch.

Zahra nodded, taking the hint. “I have to say, you are so adorable when you're flustered,” she commented as they both walked out of the room, heading towards the Mess Hall.

“I am not even going to deny how easy it is for me to get flustered, I just don't want to do it in front of Kashaw,” Lillith replied, her bright red cheeks fading back to their normal color, “He's still joining us for breakfast, right?”

Zahra's once playful expression turned serious as she nodded curtly.

“Did the two of you get into a fight?” Lillith's concerned expression was met with an attempt on Zahra's part to put on a more neutral expression. “Really, what's wrong with him?”

“Nothing,” Zahra replied with a sigh, “He...we're fine.”

Lillith didn't believe her but she remained quiet as they entered a busy area of the main floor, heading for the Mess Hall.

“Play it cool, Lil,” Zahra casually advised as they entered, just in case Kashaw was already there.

They took a couple of cups of coffee over to a table by the window at the furthest corner of the dining area and quietly continued talking.

Lillith cleared her throat quietly before she said, “So I told you I would ask about Kashaw...so this is me asking. I know you like to keep things to yourself, but aren't you going to give your favorite cousin some details? How'd you guys even meet?”

“I just happened to be at the right place at the right time,” Zahra simply said, looking past Lillith's shoulder to watch Kashaw enter the Mess Hall.

Lillith took a quick over the shoulder glance before she faced Zahra again. “You're not gonna tell me any more, are you?”

“No, not at this moment,” Zahra replied, following Kashaw with her eyes as she spoke.

When Kashaw's eyes met Zahra's, he walked over to join them with his own cup of coffee.

“You guys aren't going to eat?” he asked them.

Lillith shook her head. “I think I'll wait until after I meet with the Huntmaster. I'm too nervous to eat.”

Zahra added, “I'll eat with Lillith. Figured I should keep her company.”

“I'm sorry about yesterday,” Kashaw said, disregarding Lillith's presence as he looked directly into Zahra's eyes with an intensity highlighted by his two different eye colors.

“It's already forgotten, dear,” she told him with a firm quiet voice.

“You know it's not...”

“Stop,” Zahra cut him off, her voice slightly louder but equally as firm as before, “I don't need you to ramble on about this. Just...don't run away. Whatever happens, we'll face it together.”

Lillith watched Kashaw's expression soften and it fascinated her that Zahra had that much of an effect on another person.

Her voice remaining firm but her expression softening when she looked at her younger cousin, Zahra turned to Lillith and said, “Listen, we should probably get going to our meeting then.”

Lillith only responded to Zahra with a nod. She then casually said to Kashaw, “It was nice seeing you again.”

“Well, I was about to head to Vanessa's office myself, why don't we all go together?” Kashaw suggested, “She wanted to see me about leading a hunt.”

“Sure, why not?” Zahra shrugged, leading both Kashaw and Lillith out of the Mess Hall.

 

* * *

When the three of the them entered Vanessa Cyndrial's office, they realized quickly that they were expected. There was a pair of identical looking elves standing in the room as well, wearing greens and browns.

“So this is the lovely Lillith,” the Huntmaster commented, cutting straight to the chase, “An illusionist?”

“A talented one at that,” Zahra responded.

Lillith did nothing but smile in response, being mindful of making a good first impression.

“It's good to see both you and Kashaw here,” the Huntmaster went on, “I was hoping to see you go on a trial with some potential new members including young Lillith here. Kashaw, I know we discussed your leadership potential yesterday. I want you to take the lead on this trial.”

“But Z's...”

“No, it's okay,” Zahra cut him off (yet again), “If the Huntmaster deems it appropriate, you should go ahead and lead Lillith and the others.”

“You are to join them as well, Zahra,” Vanessa explained, then she gestured towards the two elves, “Tess'ahra is a very skilled Ranger who specializes in hunting Dragons and Tam'iryah is a Barbarian. They are also seeking membership to the Slayers' Take.”

The two elves nodded quietly at the Huntmaster, then the one wielding a longbow spoke quietly. “We are both honored that you would allow us this opportunity to be a part of your organization.”

“Very well,” the Huntmaster said, “We'll address the particulars of this hunt after lunch, I just have to put the finishing touches on the contract. I will have Murtin fetch you when it is time.”

With a wave of her hand, the Huntmaster dismissed the five of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying this fic so far! Please leave a comment with your suggestions for what type of creature you think they should hunt for the trial, if you have any. It'll help me figure out the next chapter!


End file.
